A bad bitch living a soft life is a cheat code, I'm convinced.
A few years ago, I wrote a blog post titled BO$$ UP + PROSPER and I find myself in that place once again for similar reasons. Though the mantra is valid for just about every situation I find myself in and out of, the definition has evolved significantly since then.
I think it's pretty common for people to lose themselves in relationships, especially when a romantic connection is involved. I also think it's normal to see things retrospectively and come to that realization, hopefully before it's too late. Choosing not to dwell in the aftermath of a breakup, once again, I'm entering into a season of pouring back into myself, making up for all the time I invested into someone else, and recommitting to myself and dreams.
The trend now are the girls being open to living a soft girl lifestyle and I personally love to see it. Though I'm not a fan of following trends just to follow them, however I'm all for being inspired by something that resonates and applying it to your own life. I can appreciate women - notably Black women - finally waking up to their true value and understanding their worth. For so long, it wasn't something that was popularized in the Black community, because so many of us are expected and damn near forced to fit into the strong Black woman archetype, to wear a cape and play the superwoman role, that it's hard for us to grasp the whole concept of living a soft life. To be honest, it's about time we as Black women consider ourselves to be absolutely deserving of walking into the essence of what it means to be a baddie without feeling like we have to neglect our femininity in the process.
The soft life for me is much deeper than aesthetics, although the presentation is a factor. As much as I do want and plan to get my style, my wardrobe, my signature look together, it's more about getting my spirit in order. I think back to situations where I reacted out of anger, instead of having better control of my emotions or taking a more gentle approach to dealing with the situation. The ultimate goal is to not only tap into the graceful flow of femininity, but to also strut this earth with God-like confidence, and carry myself in such a way that's reflective of woman I'm becoming rather than the shit I've been through.
In the same breath, I still believe I have to maintain a certain level of assertiveness and cockiness in order to be taken seriously on a professional/business level, but I also think there's an art to knowing when it's appropriate and being able to turn in on and off. For instance, when I'm out here grinding it out and my head is in the game, it's nothing wrong with poppin' my shit! The other side of that is when I come home to my oasis, my goddess space, I want to be able to kick off my heels, exhale, and relax fully in the oasis - my goddess space, if you will - of my home environment. Even in terms of a relationship, I want to be able to be completely vulnerable and at ease around my man; I don't want to have to think or worry about a damn thing. Even if that's what I'm looking for in my next relationship, whenever that might be, it's on me to create that type of environment in my solitude first. That's what I mean by a bad bitch living a soft life, because I think it's very important to cultivate that kind of dual superpower within my own existence.
I want to go get it, but also understand how important it is to rest in my divine feminine, knowing my success is inevitable and better things are on the way to me. I am using my calm intuition now to manifest the things I want. It's basic law of attraction fundamentals. When I'm focused on being the woman I know I'm capable of being, accomplishing my goals, setting new standards for myself, and taking care of my self - mentally, spiritually, physically - in the process, I don't have to chase what's for me. I can just be.
Chymere A. ♡
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